It was usual day I was off to go to work and I was calling her name from the entrance, and I was asking her “Do you remember everything Mom? Mom you remember it right?” With a hesitating voice she murmured Yea…h, and then I left from home for work. Suddenly, when I came out of the door I heard a school bell ring and I something flashed in my sight, I saw kids running towards the school and parents waving at them. I just stopped and gazed at the smile of these students and their parents, I couldn’t able to move my feet further and I remembered, Sometimes you cannot forget the things which happened to you for the first time just like Fist day at school…uniform, bag, tiffin everything is new that day, Mom took care of everything. She waited at gate for 2 minutes and made me memorize all the instructions to behave in class…from Good morning Mam, to use napkin while eating tiffin, but today I remember just one thing… For the first time I was leaving mom, I was standing on this side of the gate and mom on the other side, “just 3 hours, then you will be back” she fondled me so that I could go to school, but today I think more than me it was difficult for her to spend that 3 hours. I came back to see her and I saw her sitting in front of laptop struggling to remember which key will switch on the laptop and I was standing just behind the door glancing her wrinkled face. That was first day at school, and today it’s my mother’s first day to learn. I came inside the room and nodded at her and smiled and said now you know everything Maa, and she kissed my forehead and said “thank you for making me discover a whole new world”.
I was in labour room, I was going to be a mom within 2-3 minutes, I was in so much pain but that feeling of becoming mom took over the suffering, I heard the tik- tok of hands of a wall clock and murmurings of doctors and finally my baby crying and she was wrapped in towel, they gave me to held her, but I instead of gazing her innocence I remembered mom, I remembered her face, I thought the way I am feeling today wish I could have seen when my mom had me. I wanted to see that joy you had when you first carried me in your arms. You held my hands, you taught me how to walk and I thought I learnt on my own to walk what a silly girl I was….. What I need, you know it better than me. How magical it was that whenever I wanted something you already knew before and placed it in front of me before I wished for it. I don’t know how many sleepless nights I gave to you, how much I made you tired by making you looking out for me.
I remember when I got injection but it was more painful for you than me. I never saw you getting up late in the morning, I never saw you sleeping early too, I think your time just revolved around me and you cried at my first day at school because I will be alone for the first time.
And I remembered, at my naughtiest days when I broke your favourite vase and you scolded me, I felt only love was real and anger was so fake. I had so many nightmares and i used to hide inside you, every time, I wonder I feel so secured in your arms. But, when i saw you frightened I never expected, it was then when i played with my friends and i accidentally broke my hand, i saw you crying leaning on to dad, mom it was just fracture but i saw that fury in her eyes.
You were happier than me looking at my board result. When I grew up i got some friends, knowingly unknowingly I started to like their company more than you, I had my whole new world which was so much isolated. I started living in that world and smirking enjoyed, I thought you are not understanding me maa…I fought with you so many times and still remember you made me understand twice the times when we fought. With friends, I enjoyed a lot but meanwhile I forgot that I am leaving someone behind my best friend who knew me since i was not even born. I was so much lost in my world that i couldn’t see how many times I made you awake all night and stressed you up with my behaviour; I never understood your worries towards me and the silence. You gave me everything mom, at every beautiful stage you were there with me and took care of me. Today, she has come to see me becoming a mother, and i don’t understand why is it today that i remember you so much and i understood everything that you have gone through, and I feel today i am not only a mother but a daughter too. Your love was never a weakness, it was my strength. Sorry Maa….
I was at my office working late, my phone rings displaying Mom, I picked up that call, it was my mom with a very heavy voice she said after all these years you still remember to take care of me. I got my medicines for whole month wrapped with your love. I said yeah maa, i ordered it for you, Can I come to see you this weekend I asked, she said don’t you know with all these that happened to you Why you…, I said “your Son has divorced me, maa…” but i never divorced you.