*Rachel’s point of view*
“God saw you getting tired
A cure was not to be,
So He put His arms around you, and whispered, “Come To Me.”
With tearful eyes we watched you and saw you fade away.
Although we loved you dearly,we could not make you stay.
Many times we thought of you, many times we’ve cried,
If love alone could save you, you never would have died.
A golden heart stopped beating,your tender hands at rest,
God took you home to prove to us He only takes the best.
You never said “I’m leaving”
You never said “I’m leaving,”
you never said goodbye,
you were gone before I knew it,
and only god knew why.
A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried,
if love alone could save you,
you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
in death I love you still,
in my heart you hold a place,
that no one could ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you,
but you didn’t go alone,
for a part of me went with you,
the day god took you home.”
I read as my eyes filled up, the poem I had written for Luke a week after the funeral. I missed him, a lot. I was almost dead inside, myself. Our story was not like the ones you see in movies, not the ones you wished to want. It was definately not the ones that would make you smile, but our story was beautiful. It wasn’t the way I wanted it to be or Luke wanted it to be, but it was still beautiful. Luke left but he developed a whole new me when he did. I was not happy or sad. I did not have any regrets or complains. I did not cry myself to sleep. I was just numb. I did not care what time it was, or what day it was. It had been a month but I was alsmost lifeless. I had no aim, nothing.
Today was 5sos’ last and final performance, they did not wish to continue after Luke and they did not want to replace him. The fans respected their decision. They had changed too, no matter how much they tried smiling, just for the sake of fans, they weren’t the same old boys I knew. It was fair enough. I wasn’t the same old Rachel, as well. Luke meant something special to all of us and he had taken away a part of us when he left.
“Rachel?” Caleb’s voice got me back to reality. I was sitting backstage, grabbing my stuff. I was leaving today, I did not want to continue this job since everything only reminded me of Luke.
“Yeah, I’m done,” I said as I turned back to him.
“We’re performing our last concert,” he said.
“Goodluck,” I simply replied and started to leave.
“Rachel!” He called out and stared at me blankly, “aren’ you coming with us?” he asked.
“Its pointless,” I sighed.
“Really?!” He snapped, “Luke gave his life for you,”
“Caleb!” Malcolm entered the room and walked upto him, “don’t you start that again,”
“Why?” Caleb pushed Malcolm in frustration, “My best friend gave up his life for her and she’s here acting numb and dead! That’s not why he gave up his life!”
“Caleb, she will cope up! Can you stop being such an arrogant person?” Malcolm was so mad at Caleb, I could feel the tension radiating off both of them.
“You always think I’m wrong! But I’m just asking her to make it worth and live! Live for Gods sake! Nobody knows how to live, that’s the funny part. But you still have to. Luke’s life wasn’t worthless and he gave it away for you. You’re not going to sit here and waste it away,” he said, almost cracking up. He put his hands on my shoulders, “I know its tough and I know I’m being an asshole, but all I want to say is please don’t let it all go to waste. Luke really loved you and he wanted you to do well in life, it was his last wish for you to continue living, so please, just respect that,” he said and walked out.
He was right. I shouldn’t be wasting my life away, I was going to try and live just like Luke wanted me to, even if it was tough and even if it was too hard for me to even breathe right now.
Malcolm walked towards me and embraced me in a hug, I hated human touch eversince Luke passed away but I needed this hug more than ever so I gave in and hugged him back, “its going to be okay, Rachel, its going to be okay,” he rubbed my back.
I just hoped he’s right and how it would all be okay.