*Rachel’s Point of View*
I did not really speak to Luke at all after the day he said I don’t know myself. I felt anticipated about our future, our relationship. I know our relationship had a lot in store for us, but I wasn’t sure about how I would take in all of that. The list of why I shouldn’t date Luke was just getting more and more reasons, I really wished I’d stop doing that but I knew for a fact that I was acting too out of control for anything. I made Luke go insane and frustrated for about almost everything. It really sucked for me but that was how I am during relationships. Lost, scared, unsure. I never knew I was like that, but what I am, I am.
“You okay?” Malcolm knocked at my desk pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Fine,” I replied, “why?” I asked him.
“You and Luke…” he trailed off, “offer me to have a seat,” he mocked.
“Take a hint, I’m preparing next weeks schedule, go away,” I mocked him back.
“Whatever,” he mumbled taking a seat next to me, “So you and Luke, what the fuck is up with you guys?”
“I don’t know, Mal, its just,” I sighed, “I’m scared.” I admitted.
“Because…I don’t know, I don’t know a thing about him,” I said, annoyed.
“You’re saying this because you met our friends, right?” He asked.
“Yeah, like… you guys know so much about each other, and just.” I replied.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, we’ve forgotten so much about each other, it doesn’t even matter, but people will never forget how you made them feel and you make Luke feel so much better, so much happier, can you not see that?”
“I can, he makes me feel really wonderful too, but relationships don’t always last like that,”
“Well, Rachel, you’re wrong. I know I’m not the genius and I don’t know shit about relationships, but its all about feelings, man. Its all about you feel more than what you know. Who the hell cares if he likes Pizza over Pasta, what matters is, he is willing to eat Pasta when he’s with you because you make him feel good, you make these little things don’t matter to him.”
“You’re right, but he’s 17. I’m 19. By the time he turns 18, I’ll be 20. It will suck so much, he’ll be a teen when I’m 20, do you know how many problems we’re gonna have?”
“That doesn’t matter, you know you love him, right? Of course you do! And stop looking for reasons how you shouldn’t hurt him, that only ends up hurting him more, dammit.” He snapped.
“Why are you here?” I asked him.
“To make a dumb person like you realize that my best friend is madly in love with you and so are you, so go kiss him and be with him!” He replied, agitated.
“Its easy to say,” I replied, calmly this time, “the fans hate the fact that we’re together,”
“You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks, Rachel. The fans won’t like anyone, let it be you or the goddess – Katy Perry. They’re gonna be mean and rude and hateful towards all of them,” he replied, just as calm.
The thing with Michael was, he would get worked up when the person he is talking to get worked up, he’s in this entire process of imitation, which wasn’t generally annoying, but sort of cute.
“I love him, I love everything about him, I’m just scared,” I admitted.
“Don’t be, he won’t eat you,” he chuckled as he thought about the dirty side of his statement, “look, Rachel, Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light, and I don’t know where the fuck I’m getting all of this, but this Luke, he doesn’t open up. Please don’t run away, he’s opened up quite a lot with you, trust me, he likes you. He loves you. He’s been terribly sick without you, you make him happy. And happy Luke is very rare, I don’t want him to lose this, positive light in his life. All you need to know is he loves you and you love him, nothing else matters.”He assured me.
“You’re the best, Malcolm,” I smiled.
“Or so I’ve been told,” he shrugged, “that was literally so hard, I actually memorized all of that,” he chuckled.
“You’re so lame,” I laughed.
“Luke?” I called out as I entered their bus.
“He’s in his bunk,” Caleb told me, “you guys are fighting?” he asked.
“No, we aren’t,” I smiled.
I went up to his bunk and pulled the curtain out, he was laying there, aimlessly srtaring at practically the empty space above him, he flinched and looked at me and gave me a sad smile, “do we have to go somewhere?” he asked.
“No,” I said simply, as I climbed into his bunk and layed next to him, “I wanted to see you,” I smiled.
“Oh,” he turned over facing me, “hi.” he whispered.
“Hey,” I replied, “I was thinking about us,”
“Me too,” he coaxed.
“Yeah? What were you thinking?” I asked.
“That we’re two crazy people playing with fire,”
“That’s right,” I chuckled and hugged him, then rested my head on his chest, “but we’re also two crazy people in love,” I looked up and he smiled at me, that beautiful smile which would make me forget everything and just make me feel alright, as cringe as it sounds, I was in love.
Because, I loved Luke and I was sure, this time.