“Dare to love yourself

as if you were a rainbow

with gold at both ends.” 

This is my story, your story and every that person’s story who has forgotten what it is like to make choices for yourself and feel the exuberance of living life the way they want to. 

Am I being selfish, or am I being inconsiderate or am I just being me by trying to walk on a humble path of self discovery and self happiness ?

_ _ _ _ _ 

“New year, new me.”

The most trending resolution hashtag on the social media every new year’s eve for almost past one decade.

 

“Going to join the gym; #Newyearnewme”

“Going to stop thinking about him; #Newyearnewme”

“Going to stop spending on a whim; #Newyearnewme”

and so on…….

 

Every year starts with the same set of cliched resolutions which are long forgotten after the many wild new year’s parties which we had sworn to skip, come new year.

However, we miraculously remember them in the last week of December which is then carried forward to the next year.

 

We aspire to start the year differently and to live it even more differently which basically is our version of living like our favourite “fit” celebrity who inspires us to eat healthy #healthylivng #newyearnewme

We also commit to giving all our time to our parents and partners and to catching up with old friends because that is what new year is all about, isn’t it ?

But what we fail to realise is that with each step we take towards that becoming our favourite celebrities’ mini-me or in becoming the ideal daughter/partner/friend we are, bit by bit, losing ourself and our send of individuality.

We are hellbent on sacrificing our comforts and needs to satisfy our beloveds’ because what’s better than being the reason behind their 32 watt smile, right?

And anyway, there’s no harm in hitting the gym to accompany your best friend who wants to lose 20 kilos before her cousin’s wedding later that year. A little inconvenience never hurt anybody (At least i’ll stay in shape).

 

We are all for the team, always up for selfless acts, a hundred percent people pleaser. But ever wondered what it would be like to be a minimum of one percent selfish, take a backseat from pleasing everyone and just do what actually makes US happy.

Why not, instead of indulging ourselves in activities and plans we have no intentions of doing wholeheartedly, we, for once, make it about ourselves and a become a teensy bit selfish.

 

Now, Oxford dictionary defines this two syllable word as “lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal pleasure.”

This definition gives a sense of negativity and surrounds the ‘selfish being’ with a negative aura, but what I fail to understand is that since when did being selfish, or as the definition says, being concerned with own’s personal pleasure become derogatory, leaving people to question and judge a person’s character based on this said trait.

 

So, I’ve decided to choose my needs, my comforts over others. I’ve chosen to be selfish.

 

I refuse to pay heed to what everyone and anyone says and and do what i see fit because this year i choose to be selfish.

I am going to hit the gym, not everyday, not every week and maybe not even every month. But one day, the day i’ll want to burn the guilt of consuming those extra calories after hogging on the extra large cheese pizza.

 

I will stop chasing the guy who only has time for negligible responses like ‘hmmm’s and ‘K’s. My pillow is done being the canvas to my tears and it’s time it paints some new dreams.

 

Oops! I said something I wasn’t supposed to. Should I go and apologise or should I own it and move on ?
I pick the latter.

 

Oh Lord! I’m a twenty year old Indian girl all set to entertain the numerous rishtas my aunties are sending. But guess what, I prefer to travel the world alone.

 

Oh Lord! I’m married and a mother of two. But guess what, I’m an amateur bike gang member too.

I finally decided to get that meaningless tattoo I’ve always wanted and even made up my mind to dye my hair rainbow because I’ve been one in someone else’s cloud.

 

I’d rather learn from my own mistakes than the shallow preachings of others.

This year will be filled with echoes of laughter and blossoming friendships. With new experiences and memories. This year I will write my story, the story of the ‘selfish li’l brat’ because I chose to make it mine.