I didn’t know how to face my family. It had been awhile since I spoke to them. My relations with my mom weren’t the best, and I always chose to avoid her. But me and dad got along well. Luke had transferred the money right away and my brother was in ICU, I had no idea how to expect this meeting to be like…I had no clue how to react by seeing my family after two years, that too with Luke. I tried telling myself that I was okay, and Luke was going to be there with me. I tried to not overthink but there was something about this day that was wrong. My inner self wasn’t sure about today and I was scared that we picked the wrong day to meet my family. Something in me was panicking when I did not even know what was wrong.
“Luke?” I called out as we walked out of the apartment with our bags, going to the airport.
“Yeah?” He held my hand and we walked out on the street.
“I’m panicking for no reason..” I trailed off.
“Babe, it’s going to be okay. Don’t stress so much, your family will be glad to see you,” he kissed my cheek.
I did not know what to say. I wasn’t exactly sure if it was my family that was bothering me this minute. It was something else. I often get instincts when something isn’t going right, but maybe I’m just too orthodox, maybe I’m just stressing and being way too clingy about this entire thing. Maybe I’m just so deluded that I think everything is wrong right now. Maybe its just the anxiety of meeting my family after two years that’s taking over me. I toook a deep breath and finally smiled to Luke and pecked his lips. He made me feel at ease, and as cringe as it may sound, he made me feel like everything is okay when its clearly not. Trust me, before I had met Luke, it was different. I thought all of this was really bullshit. Its not like I did hook ups, honestly, the only person I ever had been around with no feelings was Michael. Its not like I had too many boyfriends, I had only dates one guy seriously in my life. Now, it’s two. Because Luke was different. I was so wrong about him. I had so many reasons as though why he’s an asshole and why he’s no good for me, but honestly, he’s too good for me.
“Rachel?” His voice brought me back to reality,
“Yeah, Luke?” I turned to him.
“I forgot my bottle, stay here and I’ll grab it and be back?” he said.
“Sure,” I smiled as he walked away.
I stood there aimlessly, I was just thinking about where the boys were, weren’t they gonna be with us till the airport? Maybe they just woke up late. I literally did not have the time to go and see them. I really wanted to see Michael before I left because we were close and he had guided me through the relationship whenever I had my doubts. I started walking aimlessly on the street, it was quite silent today, I pulled in my headphones and played King For A Day by Pierce The Veil as I walked towards the bus stop and peeped around everything. I was totally tuned out of reality and only just concentration on Vic. The song ended as Back Seat Seranade by All Time Low started playing. I couldn’t even describe how much I love All Time Low and this song was my favorite. I did not want to know what my life would be like without the existence of this song. As I was just only listening to Alex Gaskarth in the middle of the street, going back to the spot where Luke had asked me to wait, I felt a massive weight on my body as I was thrown away on the other side of the road. I hurt my head and it was a total black out, my headphones were lying somewhere and my whole body froze as I lift my head up to the opposite side of the street. I wasn’t sure if I was hallucinating or this was just a big nightmare, though I wish it was. Luke was laying there, bleeding as he just got hit by a car. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t say a word. As much as I tried to lift my body up, I was just there, on the ground. Wincing in pain. I don’t know what hurt more, the fact that I couldn’t go up there and help Luke, or the fact that Luke saved me and got hit by a car. I heard the boys and Liz yell and scream as they ran toward Luke, I tried to force myself to get up as I almost gave in all my strength to stand up. I took little steps but just my luck, I fell down again. Malcolm saw me struggling as he ran toward me and held me in his arms. He kept yelling to Caleb, “CALL THE AMBULANCE! CALL 911! NOW!” But Caleb wouldn’t budge. He just stood there, seeing Luke, his eyes filling up.
“Malcolm, his breathing is slow!” Ashton gasped.
Liz just sat there aimlessly, not being able to believe what had happened. Malcolm put me down on next to Luke as I sat up and buried my head in his chest and began crying.
“YOU GUYS SHOULD CALL THE AMBULANCE, GIVE ME YOUR PHONE ASHTON!” Malcolm was panicking, as he grabbed Ashton’s phone rudely and called the ambulance.
“Luke?” I cried, “Luke, please, please keep breathing,” I sobbed as I could feel his breathing get slow.
“Luke, please!” I cried harder, “talk to me! Luke talk to me!” I started hitting him. I did not know what I was doing, I could feel him get away from me and I did not want to lose another important person from my life.
“Luke, man, the ambulance will be here in no time, just talk to us,” Malcolm sat down next to me.
“Malcolm, he won’t talk! Why won’t he talk!” I screamed, “Why didn’t you let me die? Nobody even needs me! I’m so stupid, Luke, why!”
“Rachell..” Luke managed to say, “I- I lo-ve you,” he said, having trouble breathing.
“I love you, Luke, I love you, keep talking to me, okay?” I said as I ran my hand around his face.
“Listen, listen to me,” he held me hand as he winced in pain, “you – you are amazing,” he took heavy breaths, “and – and I want you to move on if I’m no more -”
“NO! NO! The ambulance will be here! Shut up! We’re gonna get married, remember?” I cried.
“Malcolm,” Luke called out, struggling, “take – take care of – of her,” that’s all I heard from Luke as he took a final breath and I knew, I knew he was gone.
“NO!” Malcolm was crying too, “Luke, man! Wake up, Luke, the ambulance is here, Luke, don’t leave me. I need somebody to beat me up in video games, please! Luke, stop playing around!” he yelled.
“He’s gone,” Caleb said, “he’s gone!” he screamed, “Why couldn’t you see and cross?” he yelled at me.
“Liz!” Ashton ran over to Liz who passed out as soon as Caleb said Luke was gone, “hey! you!” he called out at the nurse and took Liz in the ambulance as the other people came over to pick Luke’s body.
“Caleb, calm yourself,” Malcolm put his hands on Caleb’s shoulder.
“Calm myself? He was my best friend! He’s no more because he saved her! Doesn’t she know how to cross?!” he yelled.
“Caleb, now is not the time, get yourself together. Its not her fault,” Malcolm said sternly.
“Not her fault?” Caleb cried, “he was my best friend! My best friend!”
“I know, I know,” Michael’s voice cracked as Caleb hugged him, crying on his shoulder, “he was our best friend,”
“He’s gone. He was just having a banter with us a second ago, and now he’s gone, he’s gone!” Caleb sobbed.
I ran into the apartment as I heard Malcolm call for my name, I knew he’d come after me so I locked the door and ran into mine and Luke’s room and opened my wardrobe, I threw every piece of clothing I ever had just to find the paper I was looking for. I finally got hold of the paper and I read it all over again.
Reasons to not be with Luke Hemmings:
1) Playful relations with Michael.
2) Luke is arrogant
3) Luke is known as a bad boy, and has a flop image.
4) Luke’s ego is bigger than mine.
5) Luke doesn’t give me importance.
6) Luke makes me feel bad.
7) Luke has a bad temper.
8) Luke was obsessed with me.
9) Luke was a jerk.
10) Luke was immature.
11) Luke did not understand the way I live my life.
12) Luke was too famous for my own good.
13) Luke’s fans was crazy.
14) Luke was too in love with me.
15) Luke has commitment problems.
16) I did not know Luke enough.
17) Luke was stupid.
18) Luke would probably leave me without an explanation.
I could not believe the last reason I wrote. After writing absolute dumb reasons, it was the last reason that turned out to be true. Luke, why did you leave me? You’re never coming back. Luke, I’m sorry, I kept saying. I’m sorry I did not value you in our relationship. Just come back… Once.
I tore that paper into pieces and threw it away, crying insanely as I heard his voice echo in my ear “Even after having a hundred reasons why you shouldn’t be in love with me, I’ll give you one why you should be which will make you forget every damn reason you ever had,”