I have never visited Hyderabad before. I am from north, specifically eastern region, where I spent my first twenty years of my life. I have moved to Hyderabad for my higher education. Now, before coming here, I had heard great praise about this city: the Hyderabadi-Biriyani, the Charminar, and many things. As expected, I was expecting a lot from this City of Pearls (for its historical pearl and diamond trade). My experiences, well, turned out to be way less pearly.

Firstly, the food. To start out, I am a big foodie. I love eating all types of foods and expand my boundaries, which I call as ‘expanding my tastes’. My first experience when I got down from the railway station was the first blow I received as a foodie. I saw a samosha stall outside. We love samoshas, aloo-chops, vegetable-chops, anything oily and lot of ‘pur’ in it, we are all for it. So, I ate 3 samoshas at the stall back to back as I was hungry after one and half day of journey from Ranchi. When I asked for the total, he said it was 30 Rupees. What! I replied that don’t give me the rate for a dosa but for the three samoshas I ate just now. No. Still 30 Rupees. The price of a samosha here in Hyderabad is 10 Rupees! Moreover, we get only two paralyzed mirchis with it. We would get 4 samoshas for that price in my place. There in there, at that stall, I took the pledge to never have a samosha in Hyderabad. Starting there every food/dish is costly in Hyderabad: dahi-bada 15 Rupees each, rasogulla 10 Rupees each, even the pizza from the Dominos is costly. No doubt there are no foodies in Hyderabad; no food culture, no such dhabas, food-stalls, khopchas specializing in anything. I expected, like we must, find some stall would be good in dosas, some in idlis, some in other things, etc. Just plain nothing. The truth is there was hardly anything that I had here that I had not already tried before. Now, the only thing that was left for me to try is Hyderabadi-biriyani of course. So, me and my friends went to many popular of restaurants in Hyderabad, and my experience was less than as I, we all had expected. The biriyani was good, no doubt, but not so good that one could brag about it, and have prefix ‘Hyderabadi’ attached to it.

Secondly, the traffic. I am sure Hyderabad is competing Delhi on traffic, and would definitely beat it in most days of the week, if not all. I have not seen an empty road after I came to Hyderabad. There are so many traffic-posts, speed breakers, traffic police everywhere but still nothing. Occasionally, what takes an hour ride from one place to another would take about 3 hours. Not to mention the pollution that is generated; if you want to get its truest view then do visit the Charminar. The best thing you can do when you go there is return back as soon as possible. The Hyderabad is blessed with places such as this everywhere. Even big politicians face jam and stay stuck, what to say of us ordinary people.

Thirdly, the heat. Now, I would dare Bear Grylls to stay here in Hyderabad for the entire summer. Yeah, I know he can, for Bear Grylls is Bear Grylls, but the point is the weather is so damn hot that you would often need his tricks to get through the entire season. No kidding. Other places in India too have hot summers, but Hyderabad has that for five months straight for God sake — from March to July. The atmosphere here is crystal clear — no humidity, no hot winds, which makes the hot rays of the sun penetrate harder. We had to buy Nycil, Dermi Cool powders, Sunscreens, etc. in kilos. Also, my guess is the caps, hats, and umbrella shop owners would be the millionaires here, for obvious reasons. Well, the news is summers do end, and guess what follows. The season of monsoon, that lasts for three months. The atmosphere remains always wet and humid, and so are you, throughout the days, and the nights, inside or outside. The only comfortable season here is the winter, which is so short that it would end before it has started.

In conclusion, this is not the place to visit or settle I would recommend to my homies back there. If you still want to visit the major attractions, I would urge to get a helicopter and enjoy the sights from a safe hundred meters above the ground. Meanwhile, to all my friends who are not in Hyderabad, pray for me while I am here, and that I get out of here at the earliest opportunity. Amen.