A 24/7 worker with no remuneration other than smiles and peace, yet often underestimated! Her illness becomes a scope for many to express their pain rather than love and becomes a burden on other’s shoulders!!!

 

What life shows and how it does show has always been a part of the experiences of mankind. Sometimes we are brought to situations where we just can’t let it go neither can we hold on; we just can keep ourselves with the flow to get swayed. Swayed we are often, for things don’t happen as we wish them to and all that doesn’t occur that we imagine. We keep UPS in case of the computer to run but in case of real life many moments leave us helpless about the back-ups. We simply are not left with any option.

Yes, my situation is just the same now. I’m a patient of regular gastric. No doubt, medical science has developed many medicines but my body is perhaps resistant to them all. For my problem is too old one. And I hate doctors who promise to cure but at the end leave me with a medicated engine that needs more grease oil than petrol to run smoothly.

The most important thing is that they will get a human body (mine) instead of a mouse to experiment the products of different companies. Yes, that’s what it will turn to be!

A specimen for the experimentation of products!

My pain will be an opportunity.

My disease will be a research subject.

My account will be the bank to finance their project.

Experimentation on me will be their visa for studies and trainings abroad.

I even don’t like to take suggestions from any relatives of mine. Everybody will come with a different idea and a different mode of expression of sympathy!

Someone saying, “Alas; what the world has come up to! I am also having this gastric problem; you know! I’m having regular chest pain. And my neighbor; she is having a bad back-ache. She has problems with knees also; joint pain; you see! Terrible!”

Someone else saying,

“Ahh; too much of pain; No! My sister’s brother-in-law’s mother-in-law’s nephew is having the same problem! He was telling me! How disastrous it is to tolerate such pain!”

Every conversation will seem to be a melodrama with a tragic scene where actors are very well prepared of the script. Everybody is in a mood to sympathize with his own pain. Hearing this database of pain of people around I don’t prefer to add some mental pain to my physical one!

Relationships and relatives as I see them have turned my objects of wonderment. Often do I think whether they come to soothe my pain with their soft words or indeed to grieve about their situations and seek my consolation.

Apart from that I do wonder how many people gain if someone falls ill! The companies producing energy powders and products like Bournvita and Horlicks and then the fruit vendors and juice companies! How many livelihoods I am supporting by falling ill! Though gastric doesn’t always let my kith and kin get so much pain of attending me as a patient yet I sometimes tend to fall extreme ill to need their heed.

One week ago, when I was comparatively in a situation to undertake all the work of my house, I asked for pomegranate and heard the answer,

“Well, they cost 300 rupees per kg.” That made me reply back, “There is no need. Who will pay so much for pomegranate!”

Now that I am not in the good form of relishing any taste, pomegranate is there near my bed and my daughter even offered me to make them eatable by peeling it off.

I wonder what my reaction should be to this paradox of my life! When I want to breathe I will be made to suffocate and when my fate intends to suffocate me I will be forced to breathe! I am quite cynical about the rules of this world. Well, they call me a pessimist creature who doesn’t decipher the codes properly but I wonder whether I am pessimist, skeptical or just curious!!

I am a housewife and that makes it understandable that I am quite within my limits while spending, or I am happy with the gifts that I get. I am happy that I don’t have anything to do and I should be ever ready to attend to others who work, who earn. If I fall ill that makes yet another accountability on my part as I have no other thing to do than attend my family members which is so little work!

I wake up early every morning and that makes me quite irritating when I call my children on weekends to have their breakfast. I am a post graduate in science after my engineering yet I make no sense when I talk as I get often detached to the news that happens because of my daily jobs of cleaning the home and maintaining it with proper decorations! I get no right to walk with dignity or be guided at my fault if I enter a mall in the “Men” side, I would rather hear that “Mom, Can’t you read!” and I should be ready for that as I am a housewife as well as a mother! I wonder did my womb give all the lessons to my children in its umbilical background or I ever taught them something! And most importantly I wonder if ever I taught them how to behave!

I am that house wife who falls ill and makes her husband spend more on her health and increases his accountability! But beyond that I am a person, a human being with all rights to fall ill, at least that is how I think!

These two days of my illness will now make me work even more in my weak condition! Hope, I get well soon! Hope, I am not being selfish, as that is quite forbidden for a lady and more specifically a house-wife!”

“Mom, where is my black shirt? I am not being able to find it! Where do you keep these things! How irresponsible you are!” Diary closes on a sudden moment of rush and Sneha shouts, “It’s there in the cupboard of your room, the third row, to the left of your jewelry!”  She just gave a smile and looked at her diary, wiping its cover she kept it in the drawer near her bed!

Image:  Still from movie Lunchbox